


It's Idiot Hours

by peppermintsticks



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Analogince - Freeform, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders Are Siblings, Capslock, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Has ADHD, Cussing, Human AU, I don't know how ao3 tags work, Is this what youd call a crackfic, Janus is non-binary and uses he/they pronouns, M/M, Trans Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, dude watch how hard I can project on to roman sanders, i hate the school system and so should you, its a group chat fic because fuck you i guess, morality | patton sanders is aro/ace, most of this was written during online classes, platonic dlampr - Freeform, the twins parents suck, there's a lot of cussing so beware
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:41:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26215042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppermintsticks/pseuds/peppermintsticks
Summary: It's just a bunch of slice-of-life shenanigans.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 8
Kudos: 81





	1. Starting In The Middle

- _Princey_ _to Idiot Hours, Wednesday, 11:53 PM_ -

**Princey:** so here’s my question

why do all group chat fics always start with the creation of the group chat

it’s often assumed that the characters were friends before the creation of said gc

and they usually already have an established bond

wouldn’t it make sense for them to already have a group chat?

I mean, it’s situational but in some fics why not start in the middle where they already have a gc

And then go from there

i think that would be more fun

**Virgil:** are u doing that thing where you stay up to ungodly hours reading fanfiction again

**Princey:** Yes, and what of it?

It’s MY failing mental health and  _ I _ get to choose the coping mechanisms

**Lolo:** Roman we have school tomorrow

Go to sleep

**Princey:** No <3

i function on little to no sleep most of the time and none of you can ever tell

**Lolo:** That can’t be good for your health

**Virgil:** no it isnt

the only reason that I get decent levels of sleep is bc this one time on a plane i listened to a TED talk about how you’ll die if you have bad sleeping habits

that was enough to make me want to have a sleep schedule

**Princey:** i’ve always expected you to be a stay-up-till-three-am-sleep-is-for-the-weak type

**Virgil:** no

The anxiety overcame the emo this time

**Princey:** yeah thats valid

Anyways logan, youre being hypocritical I know you have stayed up late doing homework and watching true crime shows before you can’t fool me

Let me have my fanfics

**Lolo:** ….

Just go to sleep at a reasonable time

Please

**Princey:** Ok but then you both have to too

It’s only fair

**Lolo:** Ok

Goodnight

I’ll see you both tomorrow

**Princey:** Goodnight to all!

Love you two <3 <3 <3 <3

**Virgil:** Goodnight

Love you too <3

  
  
  


- _ Your Dad to Idiot Hours, Thursday, 2:24 PM _ -

**Your Dad:** gUYS

**Deceit:** What did you do this time

**Your Dad:** I kinda sorta

Maybe

Just a little bit

**Virgil:** ????

**Your Dad:** Lost princess

**Dukey:** You did W H A T

**Deceit:** How????? Did you manage that??????

**Dukey:** You LOST my dog?????

**Your Dad:** I’m sorry!!!

I took her on a walk, and her leash got ripped out of my hand!!

Your dog is very strong, and I am not, ok?

Anyways, can you guys help me look for her?

**Virgil:** I’ll be there in like 5 minutes

**Deceit:** Me too

**Dukey:** ONE afternoon

ONE afternoon I ask you to watch my dog

And you lose her

**Your Dad:** I know, and I’m sooo sorry Remus

It really was an accident, and I hope you’ll forgive me

**Dukey:** It’s okay

You’re lucky youre so insufferably nice

If janus had lost princess he’d be in much more trouble

**Deceit:** Hey!!!

- _ Lolo to Idiot Hours, Thursday 4:34 PM _ -

**Lolo:** Did you find her?

Also why was Patton watching Princess in the first place?

**Dukey:** Yeah we found her

I asked pat to watch her because me and roman decided to paint a mural in the living room and we didn’t want her eating paint

Roman hasn’t been texting bc he dropped his phone in a paint can and broke it lol

**Lolo:** Jesus christ

Why am I friends with any of you

**Dukey:** rude

But fair

**Lolo:** Why were you painting a mural in your living room anyways?

**Dukey:** to piss off our parents duh

fun childhood prank paint a wall

Like scribbling on the wall with crayons, but more grown up


	2. Marrying Wealthy Is Always A Valid Option

**-** _ Virgil to Idiot Hours on Thursday, 9:13 PM _ **-**

**Virgil:** go to school, they said

It’ll be fun, they said

what I was not told is that school is just a metaphor for constant Pain and Suffering

**Dukey:** oof

i feel you on that one

**Virgil:** If math homework doesnt kill me Ms. Rice will

write me a nice eulogy please

**Deceit:** you aren’t going to die virgil

**Virgil:** no I will

and then whatll you have

thats a dead brother for you

**Deceit:** I’ll kill you myself if you don’t stop complaining

**Lolo:** Ah yes, sibling relationships

Virgil, did you, perhaps, consider asking for help

**Virgil:** no bc i’m too sexy for that

**Deceit:** shut up only child

**Lolo:** Asking for help is extremely sexy thank you very much

Also, rude???

**Deceit:** of course I’m rude that’s what we do around here

**Lolo:** fair enough

virgil call me and I’ll explain the homework to you

**Virgil:** adfjasdhfbahdf thank you so much logan

I am truly blessed to have a genius bf

**Dukey:** he makes up for your other boyfriend, who is a total idiot

**Virgil:** yeah that would make sense

- _ Pattoncakes to Idiot Hours, Friday, 12:56 PM _ -

**Pattoncakes:** is marrying rich an acceptable career path

Bc it’s looking like my only option right now

**Dukey:** valid option

**Pattoncakes:** They’re doing one of those things that they do every year where its all

“What do you want to do with the rest of your life?

and I always go “I don’t know, I want to not be dead?”

And they go “well if you don’t know your exact life plan by tomorrow, you’re gonna die!”

And I go “I just said I don’t want to die!”

And they go “too bad!”

**Dukey:** marrying a rich guy only for control of his massive inheritance is a wonderful option and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

You don’t have to to know what you’re doing

I mean look at me I never know what I’m doing and I’ve yet to die

**Pattoncakes:** A miracle, truly

Yeah i know

It’s just frustrating 

I feel like i’m supposed to know but i don’t

**Dukey:** Hey this is probably capitalisms fault in one way or another

Im not really sure how to help you on this one though

I’m sorry

Do you want to come over to my house and watch the same disney movie twice in a row?

**Pattoncakes:** Yeah I’d like that

  
  



	3. "Y'all" Isn't Victorian Slang

- _ Deceit to Idiot Hours, Friday 4:57 PM _ -

**Deceit:** The new love of my life is victorian swear words

**Dukey:** sexy

**Deceit:** I’m learning them for the express purpose of insulting people without them knowing

**Virgil:** is that why you were sputtering nonsense at me yesterday???

he started calling me a foozler or something like that

it’s not insulting if you don’t know what it means

**Deceit:** shut up gibface

**Virgil:** fuckin hate this town

**Deceit:** pigeon livered bitch

this is what I meant when I said we should combine new and old slang

not the 80s

Victorian slang combined with new slang

**Dukey:** genius 

Bro did you see how  arfarfan’arf chad was last night

**Virgil:** not you too

**Deceit:** hnnnng I want to commit crimes but the clap of my ass cheeks in these gas pipes keeps on alerting the mutton shunters

**Dukey:** damn now I’ve got the morbs alexa play despacito

**Deceit:** I’m going to shake a fanning with you in the dennys parking lot

Catch these daddles

**Virgil:** please shut the fuck up

**Dukey:** umble-cum-stumble

**Virgil:** wh

**Deceit:** shut your sauce box virgil

**Virgil:** I’ll shut your sauce box

**Deceit:** bet

**Dukey:** now that wasn’t very afternoonified

  
  


_ -Pattoncakes to Idiot Hours, Saturday 9:34 AM _ -

**Pattoncakes:** What the hell happened here last night

**Virgil:** idk man I just work here

**Pattoncakes:** What did I expect from y’all honestly

**Deceit:** y’all lol

**Pattoncakes:** Oh come on you say it too

Quit being mean >:(

**Deceit:** I don’t know what you’re talking about

I’ve never been mean or said y’all in my life

**Pattoncakes:** ????

I have screenshots of you saying it

**Pattoncakes:** image-2444.jpeg

image-547.jpeg

image-5890.jpeg

**Deceit:** Those are forged

**Pattoncakes:** But they aren’t

They aren’t

**Deceit:** mmmmm I've never seen those messages before

**Pattoncakes:** Janus. Janus stop

**Deceit:** who’s janus I’ve never heard that name in my life

**Pattoncakes:** _…_ why are you like this

**Deceit:** I’ve never even heard the name Janus maybe they say y’all but I do not

**Pattoncakes:** gshdtjfkglh;jkhlgjfdgh


	4. Potentially Universal Teenage Experience

_ -Dukey to Idiot Hours, Saturday 11:56 AM _ -

**Dukey:** what the hell is a mongoose

**Pattoncakes:** Isn’t that what the blue one from the littlest pet shop show was?

**Virgil:** yeah i think so

the long one?

wasn’t his name like simon or something

**Pattoncakes:** yeah I think so

I don’t think I liked him very much

**Virgil:** what was that show on anyways

where did they get a mongoose is that even legal

wasn’t he friends with the lizard?

did they ever explain why the main character could talk to animals

**Pattoncake:** ok so I googled it

his name was Sunil

so kinda close

It says he was a magician

and yes he was friends with the lizard

**Virgil:** huh

that was a weird show

**Dukey:** none of this answers my question

**Virgil:** i’m not google just look it up

we’re talking about littlest pet shop now

**Dukey:** how would a pet store even get a mongoose

not even the legality of it just. how???

The grandma walks in: SUP BITCHES JUST STOLE A FUCKING MONGOOSE FROM THE ZOO

HE DOES MAGIC TRICKS

I hope that’s what happened

**Pattoncakes:** I low-key wanna watch Littlest Pet Shop now,,,

**Virgil:** oh worm??

**Dukey:** come over to my place we’re watching it now

right now

**Virgil:** I Will Be There In Ten

**Pattoncakes:** hell yeah I’m on my way

**Dukey:** kids shows here we come

_ -Deceit to Idiot Hours, Saturday 12:34 PM _ -

**Deceit:** Everything always ends in cartoons with y’all

**Virgil:** yeah

what of it

its the universal teenage experience probably maybe i think

maybe it is just us

**Pattoncakes:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Y’all

**Deceit:** DAMMIT

_ -Virgil to Idiot Hours, Saturday 1:14 PM _ -

**Virgil:** what if we kissed in super ultra mega hell,,,, and we were both boys  😳😳😳

**Lolo:** Is that a destiel reference

In my fucking group chat

**Virgil:** maybe,,,,,

**Lolo:** You are my least favorite person

/j

**Virgl:** ohhhhh you love meeeeee

Lolo: Shut up

**Virgil:** no <3

i’ll shut up in the super ultra mega hell I got sent to for being gay

**Lolo:** I hate it here

**Virgil:** me too, love, me too

…

Maybe itll be better in the super ultra mega hell I got sent to because im gay

  
**Lolo:** I Will Hit You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roman is coming back in the next chapter I swear


	5. National call Remus short day

_-Princey to Idiot Hours, Saturday, 1:53 PM_ -

 **Princey:** GUESS WHO’S BACK BITCHEEEESSSSSS

**Deceit:** Oh. 

Joy.

**Princey:** i am going to pretend that u just said something nice youre welcome <3

**Pattoncakes:** Oh! You finally replaced your phone :DDDDD

**Princey:** Yeah! Now I can grace everyone with my thoughts even when I’m not with you guys ✨✨✨

**Deceit:** Maybe your phone should’ve stayed broken.

**Princey:** GASP

**Deceit:** Did you just type out a gasp???

**Princey:** I am being BULLIED

HARASSED by my own BEST FRIEND

I will never be the same again…. You torment me

**Deceit:** Never speak to me again, you cretan.

**Princey:** :((((((((

**Deceit:** >:)))))))))

**Princey:** :((((((((((((((((

**Deceit:** >:))))))))))))))))))))

**Princey:** :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

**Deceit:** >:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

**Princey:** :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

**Lolo:** I am begging you two to shut up

**Deceit:** Shut up only child <3<3<3<3

**Princey:** Bullied by my own bf </3

_-Dukey to Idiot Hours, Saturday, 3:38 PM_ -

 **Dukey:** just got a free milkshake at mcdonalds

gay rights

**Princey:** When you say free milkshake you don’t mean you stole it right?

**Dukey:** roro do u not trust me :(((

**Princey:** No.

**Dukey:** yea fair 

but no the person who made it made a vanilla one on accident when i ordered a chocolate and she let me keep both :)

Gay rights baby!!!!

**Lolo:** Aren’t you lactose intolerant??????

Why are you guys like this

**Princey:** HEY YEA HE’S RIGHT

**Dukey:** shut up logan

you have a shrimp allergy youre like

the weakest type of person

**Lolo:** What.

How does having a shrimp allergy

Make me weak

**Dukey:** oh? upset I called you weak??? whatre you gonna do about it???? i’m holding a shrimp u can’t get within five (5) feet of me

this tiny ass fish thing has rendered you powerless

**Lolo:** …

I don’t know why I’m taking this from you you’re like 5’2.

**Dukey:** FXDCGVHBJNKHGCFDXCGHJKGFDS

**Princey:** HAHAHAHA

GET HIS ASS

**Virgil:** ADSFGHFDSAFGHJGJHK

**Princey:** Virge have you been here the whole time???

**Virgil:** yeah i’ve been lurking

**Princey:** oh valid

**Dukey:** LOGAN :(((((((( THAT WAS SO MEAN :((((((( I’M GONNA KICK YOU IN THE SHINS

**Lolo:** Go drink some milk, Remus. Maybe then you’ll grow up to be big and tall <3

**Dukey:** FSDGHJKGVJ LOGAN???????? WEERGTYULHKYFHDSRGDF

**Princey:** HELL YEAH YOU GO LOLO

GET! HIS! ASS!

**Virgil:** SCREAMING

**Dukey:** THIS???? HOMOPHOBIA

THIS CANCELS OUT THE FREE MILKSHAKE

**Lolo:** But??? I am- never mind

What’re you gonna do about it? Kick my ankle?

**Dukey:** YES BITCH

KICK KICK MOTHERFUCKER

**Lolo:** Oh.

Oh the pain. 

It’s killing me.

**Princey:** SADFZGHJMB

**Virgil:** WISHLFSJSHSKFHDJF YOU KILLED HIM LOGAN

YOU KILLED REMUS

**Lolo:** Ah.

At least he won't take up much space in the graveyard.

**Princey:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

IM DYING

**Dukey:** LOGAN WHY DDDDDD:

  
  


_-Remy to Why were we named this way, Saturday, 8:43 PM-_

**Remy:** Alright which one of you ate my leftovers 

I had teriyaki chicken in the fridge and it is gone 

**Remus:** Roman ate it

**Roman:** It was Remus

**Remy:** seriously which one of you ate it

i'm not mad just disappointed 

**Remus:** stop using mom lines remy you're two years younger than us 

**Remy:** Yeah and two feet taller than you 

who did it

**Remus:** is it national call remus short day jesus christ 

**Roman:** the short one ate it xx

i saw him heat it up a few hours ago 

**Remus:** i'm not short i'm average height :((

yeah i ate it lmao

it was good

**Remy:** yeah i'm sure it was now give me ten dollars 

**Remus:** UGH u know i'm broke :((((

**Remy:** yeah so am i

i used my hard earned dollars to buy food for me and my science partner

we set up this rule years ago 

if u eat someone's leftovers, you pay for them

**Remus:** UGHHHHHHH

fine

**Roman:** oh that's right

remy isn't ur science partner one of pats little siblings?

emile right

**Remy:** yeah

he's cool

**Remus:** omg

gay ppl real

**Remy:** Shut up

**Remus:** we all know you only buy people food when you like them

this is a pattern that has been proven true time and time again

and “cool” in remy-ese is “so amazing kiss me directly on the lips”

**Roman:** Gay people real

**Remy:** he's just my science partner we were working on a project 

**Roman:** must be a pretty big project

**Remus:** yeah you've hung out almost every day this week 

**Remy:** just give me my ten dollars and shut up 


End file.
